My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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