I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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