ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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