That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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