you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize