btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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