I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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