No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I can't put those talents on a resume
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize