I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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