She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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