you turned your livingroom into a bong?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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