I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
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Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
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It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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