if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize