You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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