I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize