is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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