my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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