No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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