Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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