I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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