its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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