Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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