I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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