He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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