Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So here I am, sexting at work.
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