I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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