Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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