At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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