We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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