he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
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He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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