i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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