why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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