Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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