I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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