he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
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Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
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i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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