Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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