One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize