I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
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I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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