At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize