I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize