I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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