My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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