dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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