First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize