We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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