thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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