If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize