Duck Duck Cougar?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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