what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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