"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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